Cutting stress down using respite care

I am trying very hard to schedule recreational time, and I am making it a priority. I'm in a rut of feeling powerless and helpless with my constant infections, and our family trying to care for Andy and the other kids. A couple weeks ago, we took our two daughters to a waterpark for the night with some friends. It was a really nice break.

I have to admit, I was so sad when I dropped Andy off at the respite home. He started whining as we approached the home. When I took him inside, he started whimpering. One of the workers came out that he is familiar with, but he hasn't been to the home in many months. She started pushing his chair into the kitchen and he cried out like I've never heard him before. He was protesting to me against being there. I felt like I could vomit.

Andy getting familiar with the "new house"

The worker assured me that Andy would be okay, and that it's just been a long time since he had been there. I tried to comfort him, but she reassured me saying "Just go and enjoy yourself".  I mentioned that I'd call in a couple hours. I drove away in tears, and wanted to run back inside and bring him home with me. We were having him stay there for two nights.

I told my husband right when I got home that I might need to pick Andy up in the morning, and take him with us if he was still having a hard time. We both agreed. I called after dinner time, and found that Andy had been too upset to eat dinner, but was calm now. It made me feel horrible. I asked if they could try to feed him some crackers before bed.

I called in the morning to see how Andy was doing. The worker told me that he woke up happy and ate all his breakfast. It made me feel a bit better, but I still questioned leaving him there. I had so many worries, I thought it would be hard to be away. We started out on our drive, and were only going to be a couple hours away. We were really only gone until the next afternoon.

I picked Andy up two hours earlier than I said I would. I called ahead to let them know I was 30 minutes out. I felt bad when I got there, because he was napping on a blanket on the floor, and would now have to be woken up. They told me he needed to play in the room alone, because he was upset. It is also what I do when he is at home with us, and he needs to calm down and be away from everyone.

Now that our handicapped accessible ranch is almost finished, we will be moving in soon. It will be easier to have our parents stay with Andy if we want to go somewhere. He will be more comfortable not having to go to the home, but we will probably still use it on occasion.

I have planned another waterpark night away for the future, but this time, Andy will stay with our parents in our home. We will see how it goes. I think he will do pretty well. We are so fortunate to have supportive parents that help us out, and enable us to have some time away. It is helping cut back on stress, and lessening our feelings of powerlessness to be away from the chaos.