Sunday, April 8, 2018

Our spring break was hell

Our spring break is an awful hell. A hell of hearing Andy cry and scream and meltdown all day long. It's grueling and gut-wrenching when he's out of school. I don't know what to do with him, I try to plan ahead and I don't have anywhere for him to go.

Luckily, my older daughter got to get a way for a few days with my sister. I am very thankful for that. We try to keep Andy happy, but can't drop everything to take him on car rides or even figure out why he's mad.

Andy was flipping out all Easter long. He was nuts, and I thought he'd be better when we got him out of the house. When we got to our Easter destination, Andy screamed for fifteen minutes straight once we got inside, and I asked my husband to please take him home. My little one also started crying inconsolably an hour later and did not stop until he came back to pick us up 45 minutes later.

I am studying for multiple exams for school, and my Dad just passed away. We had his funeral, and his burial is in a few days. Everything is so stressful. I feel like I'm on the edge of a breakdown all the time. I'm just on the edge of the fence. I've told my husband, I think he feels the same.

My body got out of control on Saturday. It was my husband's birthday. Company was over, and I had a headache all morning. I slammed two glasses of water, thinking maybe I just needed more water. After we ate, I go to our bathroom and tell my husband my head is killing me. I take two Tylenol and now I'm super nauseous. He stays with me and it is the most intense horrific migraine I've ever had in my life. My whole face was aching. I couldn't get away from the pain.

I started vomiting and everything came up. It was just too much. Everything was just too much. We are caring for Andy, and having to do all the other things we are obligated to do and it is affecting us. Yesterday was an eye opener for me. This is just too much and I have to actively start searching for breaks for our family. At all costs.

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