Child Psychologist visit at our house

I spoke quite a bit with a child psychologist today. He interviewed me for about 45 minutes about what Andy can and cannot do. He asked me about the head banging behaviors, and face scratching that Andy does. He asked me about any health issues.

Andy loves swinging

The psychologist wanted to know what the physical therapist is doing with Andy, which for now is taking steps. He wanted to know what the occupational therapist is doing with Andy, which for now is hand-over-hand feeding and putting objects into containers. The psychologist suggested that we need to take a few steps back.

He says that Andy is operating at a 0-3 month level. However, I'd like to interject that he claps his hands and drinks water out of a straw cup, so there are some things he does that are in the nine month range. Nonetheless, Andy is still very infant-like. The psychologist suggested that because Andy is at such a low-level of infancy stage that we need to treat him more like a baby for now. He feels that he is nowhere near ready to feed himself or even put objects into containers, so that is why he isn't doing it. He'd like me to try to feed his sensory needs right now, which he feels will help with his meltdowns and frustrations.

He says I can do this by singing more to Andy in rhythmic ways. He says I should rock him more, swing him, and bounce him on my knee. He says I should swaddle him, and just try to get eye contact and smiling out of him. He says anything we would do to calm a 3-month old baby, and try to make a 3-month old baby happy. Shushing, and cuddling, and going for walks to calm him, and entertain him. This is what Andy needs right now, lots of sensory input. He also talked about compression and kind of laying him down to work his legs back and forth.

The psychologist felt that right now the most important thing to get out of Andy is eye contact and "shared attention" with each other. He says that if Andy can't pay attention, then learning will be extremely hindered. Suggestions for now are, bounce Andy on my knee and let him enjoy it,  then stop. When Andy looks at me and keeps eye contact, I can then count to three while still looking at him, and then start again. Whenever I stop, the hope is that Andy will look at me and use eye gaze to ask for more. Then I'm looking back at him and saying "okay, you want more? One... two.. three!", and we start bouncing again.

I did this just this evening and Andy loved it. He laughed so much with just me bouncing him on my knee. He really looked at me too when I stopped. It was like he was saying, "hey, let's continue this". He loved it so much, it made me feel bad that I hadn't been doing this before. All the motion is something that Andy doesn't usually get, because he can only drag himself around on the floor a small amount. This is supposed to feed his senses and help him to focus and cut down on the negative behaviors.

It makes sense to just try and get us sharing happy and fun moments together, instead of him just playing off on his own and not interacting with anyone. This is going to help build our bond, and give us moments of interaction. I am looking forward to playing out his suggestions. It was so helpful having him over to understand more of what Andy's needs and desires are, and how we can meet them.

Andy's been busy!

Andy at physical therapy

Andy is now in school for longer days twice a week, and he is receiving therapy after school on the shorter days two to three times a week. He's been very busy, and getting worn out, but in a good way. He will sometimes nap when he gets home, and other times he just becomes cranky around dinner time. I try to get him to bed early on some of those nights, but he isn't always willing to go to sleep.

The ABA therapy seems to be going well. He seems to be enjoying his time there. He isn't crying when I pick him up. They are trying to work on getting his attention, by having him track moving objects that light up and make noise like a toy phone. They are also trying to help him practice his pincher grasp and getting him to pick up forks or spoons and put them into a container. This will help lead him to self-feeding skills. Just grasping anything and holding it, then putting it back down is a challenge for him. He will often just drop things, but we instead want him to have a controlled release of the object. It is hard for me to work on these same things with him at home, because he often becomes very frustrated with the tasks. He will then start having a meltdown. I guess I need to find out what they do to combat meltdowns at the center.

My house is cleaned and organized now that I have had more time without Andy. I think he misses me, and shows it by cuddling up to me more when I'm holding him.  I think he's been crying a bit less too.

Andy listening to music to stay happy on a long car ride

I got to go to lunch with my husband today, which was awesome, while Andy was at therapy. I brought home the leftovers for Andy to eat once I brought him home. It was nice to see how much Andy was enjoying the food, and he kept showing me he wanted more by extending his hand towards the food. He then said a word so clearly, he said "yum", and it was so cute. I love hearing him say words, which is so rare. I always acknowledge that I just heard him say a word, and let him know I was happy to hear it. I know it is so tough for him to get any kind of words out. He doesn't ever repeat them.

It also seemed he tried to say "kitty", when I was having him take steps down the hall yesterday, and the cat appeared in front of us. I told him, "Wow, you said kitty! Yes, there's the kitty!". I hope that's what he was saying. I know for sure he said "yum", because I heard it loud and clear, and he was loving the food too. It is so awesome to hear Andy saying Anything, and makes me dream of the day that I will be having a conversation with him.

Working with my son's school towards positive changes

I asked my son's teacher several times throughout the school year if I could lengthen his school day by an hour or two. I was told no every time I asked. I was told that he could only be picked up at noon, or 4:00, and that was it. No other options were available.

Recently, it seems when Andy comes home, he gets really mad and upset. Almost like he wanted to stay at school a bit longer, and wasn't ready to come home. I always felt that a half day was too short, and a full day was way to long for Andy. I also felt that picking him up around 2:00 might work out better, because he has had therapy until 2:30 in the past.

I put in writing my concerns to the special education director. They had a meeting with me and told me right away that we could absolutely lengthen Andy's day. They also let me know that they had no idea why the teacher would have said no to this. So all in all, a positive outcome was had, and Andy is now having longer school days a few times a week. The other days, I pick him up at the regular half day, and then take him to Applied Behavioral Analysis therapy (ABA).

Andy seems to be doing well at the therapy and school. He is happy there, and I am getting a good report. Some of the days, he crashes and burns when he gets home. He refuses to take a nap, even though he needs one, and I can tell he is very tired.  Overall, he is responding well to all the new additional hours.

I have been working so hard around the house getting things done now that Andy is out of the house for several extra hours each week. I've been on a cleaning and decluttering frenzy, and my house looks great. Andy seems to be benefitting from extra hours and is happy to be at school more, so I am very happy to see this positive change.