Sunday, August 7, 2011

Confused about more children or not

I was very sure that I didn't want to have any more kids, but lately I have been having second thoughts. I keep thinking if I have another one, maybe they will be normal like my daughter. My son has brain abnormalities for unknown reasons. Nothing genetic has been found. I've been seeing other mothers with special needs kids having babies, and it just makes me think, "am I really done"?

I won't know for another couple years I guess. If Andy starts to walk and talk, I could change my mind. If he doesn't, I will probably close the doors on it for good. I just can't see having an infant around, when I've got to still carry him around. And besides, I HATE being pregnant so much. It is terrible miserable torture for me, which makes me think I am out of my mind for even considering such a thought.

I think it comes down to regret, right now. Will I regret not having any more. If I had another one, in an even worse scenario than Andy, I know I would regret that too. I probably should just count my blessings and be happy with what I have, I guess...

1 comment:

  1. May God Bless u with blessing as normal children are blessing.i get sad by reading your blog.