Deciding not to look too far into the future

I think I have finally been able to keep myself in the moment. Andy is 21 months old. I have just been living in the moment for the past few weeks and I have been so much happier. I don't let myself worry about what things will be like when Andy is an adult, or teenager, or even elementary school. Even after my second neurologist told me "we may be looking at a picture of mental retardation", I grieved it, and am over it. I worried about it for about a week, cried every day and night, and I am over it.

I am not going to worry about this until someone evaluates his IQ and tells me it is extremely low. Even then, he may be smart in other ways, and the IQ test may not truly demonstrate his abilities. I am done worrying about this possibility.

Andy continues to make gains, but still is not crawling or standing. He is almost able to get into sitting. I think his confidence needs a boost. At times he will do it, on my bed, or with a pillow behind him. Today he sat up on his own, while laying on his back over my leg. When I saw it happen, we got to work on practice, practice, practice. Until he was worn out , and is now napping.

He still hates tummy time, and hates me holding him in four point/crawling position. I always get SO frustrated, and can't help but feel, NEVER again. Never will I put myself through this again. I'd have to be crazy. Or it would have to be several years from now, and I'd have to be convinced that Andy is done with his struggles.

After the sit up practice, I stood him up facing his crib, and he did a great job holding onto the slats. After he fell three times onto my lap, he started tightening his grip on the bars, and actually seemed to understand that he could keep himself from falling. He has always been oblivious to trying to stop his fall. Protective actions just aren't a strong suit of his, but they are slowly coming around.

I am happy to see his pincer grasp really coming around, more pointing, slight response to his name, continued signing of "more" and "eat", and him letting me put his hands on his sippy cup or utensils. And he has been much more happy lately. Everyone is noticing it, and saying that they see a difference in him. He is starting to enjoy things more, and laughs and smiles to show us how he feels.

So, I am going to continue to try to stick to not looking much past the next couple weeks ahead. Enjoying the kids, and loving my family for who we are.